The First Birthday

One year and three days ago I labored for 23 hours and then was rushed into an operating room after hearing the quick and steady beep, beep, beep, beep of the fetal heart monitor silence for a moment. The beep, beep, beep resumed, much slower, and I was whisked away. Twelve minutes later our eyes locked, and I knew what the word Mother really meant.

I can look back on one year of motherhood and say that it's the best thing that I've ever done. There is no career as rewarding, nothing more satisfying than the feeling of a sticky arm around my neck, a wet kiss on the cheek, and the feeling of his tiny hand in mine as he holds on tight between us, as Stephen and I dance around our living room to "Don't Rain On My Parade". 

I'm no longer the mother of a baby. I have a toddler now. It saddens me in a secret place. My heart longs for another, not a replacement, but a new life to love and nurture and watch bloom. I know why some people collect children like flowers. They bring life, light, and innocence. Watching him grow has been a lesson in love. 

I'm off to cook breakfast... for dinner. Gotta live a little.